grades + counseling law students.

Each year the College of Law provides a one-on-one professional coaching session to our first year students after their first semester. I participate in this program as a coach and have 30 minute sessions with around 10-15 first year law students each January. In addition, due to my roles at the College, students meetings take up a very large portion of my time – I spend most of January in one-on-one meetings with students. Thankfully, I am, at my core, a people person. I’m curious and nosey. This part of the job is a much more natural fit for me than the research, much to my editor’s dismay.

Particularly with the first year students, but true among them all, grades are a major point of discussion. I can only recall two meetings in the recent few years where a student actually told me they were pleased by their grades. Only twice, out of hundreds of meetings, did someone actually (a) experience real pride and joy in their academic performance, and/or (b) own that pride and express it. That is… distressing.

I could soap-box about the use of strict grading curves (I am not a fan), the traditional modes of assessment used in law school (also not a fan), the wide-spread over-valuing of grades for hiring and professional opportunities (still boo’ing from the peanut gallery), and being told that if I give too many A’s I’ll draw suspicion and review upon myself (I mean, come on). Law school is a gate-kept world, relying on hierarchical history that values certain skills disproportionately, which don’t reflect the full array of talents and skills necessary for a meaningful career or practice. So, I won’t go on, but I could.

Regardless, I take these sessions as an opportunity to look at every one of the students I meet in the eye and ensure someone in this building with a fancy title tells them: “you are not defined by these grades.”

Remember, the math has to math. If 20% of the student body is in the top 20%, well, 80% of you aren’t. Being in the 80% is OK. There are more of you. Strength in numbers!

Its a curve and the spread has to happen. Often the point break between a B- or a C+ is a decimal or two. Do not let that decimal keep you up at night. Do not let it prevent you from going after opportunities. Do not allow it to make you feel like you don’t belong here.

I don’t mean to belittle their anxiety, grades DO matter in our current legal market, but they are a singular and to my mind artificial, marker of success.

Of course, some people actually do fail. In this instance, use that to really evaluate your work here. Is this the right fit? There is absolutely nothing wrong or shameful in cutting your loses and trying something else. There is also nothing wrong or shameful in trying again. I’ve done both, and had been glad for it.

When I started my PhD program in political science, long after finishing my JD, I was so excited to return to classrooms as a students. Guys. Guys.. I hated it. The people and the professors were lovely and kind, and the material was interesting, but I was not interested. I thought about what jobs or professional changes it would lead to, and I didn’t want them. So I stopped. I just quit! I had taken the GRE for this, I wrote admissions essays and research agendas, I was several classes in – but I just quit. I’m so glad. I tried it, it clarified some things, and I bailed.

When I failed the Bar Exam right out of law school, I took a beat. I had babies and financial stress, and just LIFE. All caps, LIFE. But I still knew that the law and legal education was the right path for me. So, 2 years later, I tried again and passed. I took in the “bad grade,” which in this case wasn’t just a C-, reflected, learned, and tried again. No shame in that. If anything, I brag often about my resilience (people love a come-back story, use it to your advantage). I blogged about it back then, too, and it’s also a lot about parenting.

I’m a nerd and a big fan of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer television show. There is a great moment where Buffy or Willow or someone says to Cordelia, “don’t you have any shame?” after she’s said something particularly cruel or blunt.

Cordelia responds, “please, like shame is something to be proud of.”

This has become a mantra for me. Shame isn’t a merit badge; take it off.

This is all to say: grades are just one piece of information. It’s important information, sure, but it’s not a complete picture of your experience, intelligence, and skills. That disappointment, embarrassment, or frustration you’re feeling? Roughly 80-90% of your classmates are feeling it too. You are not alone in this experience.

Only you get to define yourself.

Only you gets to decide what this means to you.

magic science + my salacious 2024 word of the year

While I lean towards woo-woo, crunchy, hippy, self-helpy stuff, I always thought the whole “word of the year” thing was lame. However, some people I really like choose one each year, and then last year we did it at work as a staff activity (because, of course). I kind of got into it. Like everything in this vein, I take it all with a little levity and in context of the situations and questions at hand. Do I love being a Cancer and learning everyone’s zodiac signs? Yes. Do I regularly do some tarot pulls and pay attention to moon phases? For sure. Do I make medical or financial choices based on this information? No.

The thing is, I view myself as a witchy soul connected to our earth and to nature, and as a science educator, and as a technically minded person – I’ve had to reckon with my crunchy tendencies and the whole, “this is harmful, fake garbage” argument for decades.

Science is rooted in human curiosity, and particularly for biology and medical science, in the work of women. Ask me, if I was in labor in 1750, if I’d rather have had an experienced but not formally educated midwife by my side or a male doctor from the church if things went sideways. Anyway, over time, the work of science and study was torn away from lower classes, women, and other marginalized populations, and rebranded as “NOT HOOEY DEVIL WITCH STUFF FOR DUMB PEOPLE, BUT REAL SERIOUS STUFF YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND” (I’m paraphrasing), and then commodified and monetized. While much work and effort has been done to rectify that, to this day I think we feel an abstract pressure to choose. Do you “believe” in science or in holistic practices? Well, both exist regardless of anyone’s beliefs, so stuff-it modern society. I’ll strap on my quartz watch, take life-saving medicines when I need them, meditate, and choose both. It doesn’t have to be either-or.

Scientific method, double blind studies, peer review: yes, these are things I look for in research validity and in my decision making. I look to experts and to those doing the work. Modern medicine, the deeply problematic healthcare system aside, is a champion of human intelligence and creativity.

Do I also look to the power of self-reflection, imagination, and an openness to the notion that maybe we don’t know every last detail about this great big universe: YES, PLEASE. Goodness, how boring and pointless would it all be if we understood everything happening around us? I love the feeling of connectedness to the mysteries of the universe, my purpose, my potential lack of purpose, all of it.

My witchy, earth-centric, habits bring me peace – like rituals, introspection, and belief systems have done for people since the beginning of humans. Mantras, prayers, words – they bring us focus and peace.

So, then I’ve theoretically justified selecting a word of the year to myself. In 2023 I choose “Slow”. It actually helped. My goal in selecting “slow” was to remind myself to move carefully, slowly, and with intention. The email can sit another day so I can give it the full attention it needs. I can spend a few days considering that conference invite. So much of my career has been pedal to the metal. In 2023 I pumped the breaks and I loved it.

Word of year helped me!

In 2024 I’ve selected a word that maybe feels a bit salacious. Pleasure. Pleasure is good for us. I feel time speeding by so quickly and aging has happened more rapidly than I thought possible. I can’t keep myself or my family young (nor would I want to), but I can focus on feeling good while we experience life.

I do mean pleasure in all its forms. Yes, in the salacious connotations (a major perk of being a human, if you ask me), but also in good food eaten slowly, the hyper focus creativity that comes on when working on a piece of art or when writing, the high experienced in the middle of an aerobic workout.

I want to seek activities not because they are “good for me,” I want seek things that feel good to me. The purpose should never be punish myself or hold myself accountable for some assumed moral failing – I want to do stuff because it feels good.

Yes, yes, this has the potential to slide into gluttony and addiction. Calm down and let me explain. For example, I’m doing the whole dry January thing right now – not drinking any alcohol in the month of January. I’m working to reframe this month from, “alcohol is bad and thus you’re bad for drinking it; you pathetic drunk with no self-control; you need a cheesy monthly challenge to make good choices” to, “notice how deep your sleep feels when you do not have wine before bed; see how much more aware you are of how things feel on your skin; notice how dewey your skin looks; you’re not a damaged person who needs a challenge to not drink for 4 weeks, you’re a sexy, dewey skinned woman paying attention to what her body enjoys this month; next month you can spend a few evenings rediscovering and savoring the joy of feeling fuzzy and warm with your favorite wine.”

With every task I approach I want to ask myself, “how can I make this more pleasurable?” How can I bring more fun, joy, and pleasure into the lives of others and my own? Life shouldn’t have to feel like a slog that also somehow speeds by.

I have the extremely good fortune to be aging. I’ve hit middle-age, nearing 40, and damnit I want it to be pleasurable.

Break out the crystals, the good silverware, the nice paints you were saving, the little indulgences, the songs on repeat, the gray hairs, the fancy vanilla for baking, the joy.

Bring on the pleasure.

“this paper is a disorganized mess”

I just received one of the most thorough but harshest reviews of a paper I’ve had in a long while. It’ll still get published, but WOOF, that stings.

First, someone spending that much time on my work means they deeply care about their role as a journal referee, so I’m grateful for that. I don’t believe I’ve ever written a review commentary that long – they clearly spent hours of their time.

Second, I share this for the students and early career academics out there. I’m an established individual in my field and this is far from my first publication. Sometimes students look to researchers, professors, academics, etc, like we’re untouchable and have it all figured out. This year I even had a student tell me I was intimidating. Intimidating? I am person who watches cartoons by choice and loves theme parties. I view myself as a deeply unserious person. I had to work to keep my face straight hearing this feedback.

That said, I remember looking at some of my 30-40-50-something professors and attorneys as a law student and thinking “I can’t imagine ever being that capable of handling life.” So keeping that in mind, while I don’t feel particularly “capable” day-to-day, I recognize I’ve accrued some skills. I’ve racked up some bullet points on the ol’ C.V.

The point is, no matter who you are or what you’ve done, someone out there will always think your writing is a disorganized mess or that your idea is shaky at best (and sometimes they may be right, so be open to that). Especially when the reviews are anonymous. Someone will always “know better” and tell you how to fix your work. Some of this feedback will be good. Some will be shit. You have to play the game, but the point is you also have to keep valuing what you bring to the table.

Because you do bring something good to the table. The reality is most journals and publications, outside of the prestige placements, are actively looking for papers.

I fail a lot. It’s a general theme in my life. I’ve started grand adventures professionally that didn’t just crash and burn. They created noxious gas. They were the Hindenburg.

There are also the small, simmering failures. Things that just didn’t quite hit. I’ve also had some great, big, huge, glorious wins. You have to roll with it – and immediately add them to your CV and University staff page when you get a good one.

Put your voice out there and find value in what others have to say, then find humor in it all. This world is ridiculous and the feedback to your incredibly niche, technical paper that very few human’s will ever read or think about is simply not that important.

How small these things are in the grand order of the universe.

2023 numbers, hair, and heart

2023 by the numbers…

◦ 203 days alcohol free

◦ 197 outdoor walks/jogs over one mile (really wanted that 200, but, broken foot)

◦ 97 yoga practices (really wanted that 100, but, broken foot don’t bend)

◦ 95 books read (check out my annual book review posts)

◦ 20+ Girl Scout meetings and events as a troop leader

◦ 10 Girls Code Lincoln board meetings, club sessions, and events led and attended as I wrapped up my presidency of the organization (see more)

◦ 8 different hair colors and styles

◦ 7 trips, some near, some further but all domestic this year

◦ 4 conferences, 2 of which I facilitated

◦ 3 pets we had to say goodbye to. Day-Z our 16 year old kitty, Lollipop a 7 year old guinea pig, and Aria a 2 year old chicken; our 17 year old kitty, Mia, is showing her years but remains my ever-faithful familiar

◦ 2 scholarly publications, including my first top 20 school law review placement

◦ 1 TedX Talk (a post!)

2023 by the hair…

2023 by the heart…

I am so incredibly proud of this year. The past few years before were really difficult professionally. I made some pretty big changes in 2022 that paid out in 2023. I know it doesn’t look that way on the outside, given that I still work at the College of Law, but I feel in control of my work and my decisions for the first time, and it’s a joy.

Morgan and I celebrated our 13th wedding anniversary with a huge Halloween party and vow renewal. FYI, planning your second wedding is so much more fun and relaxing than the first time. We were silly with it and I’m glad! Here’s a blog on that.

Our children are growing and becoming their own people. They are so much more than the sum of what we gave them: they are their own and who they are is wonderful.

Peace and love friends!

the most interesting things I read in 2023

For my annual book post this year, I’ve changed my title. No longer focused on “the best” but rather on the most interesting or engaging. Most of the time, interesting books are the “best” but sometimes a story comes along that I don’t particularly love or even like, but it’s sticky. It’s sticks in my brain. It’s interesting. It’s engaging.

I’ve also decided to stop copying the Good Reads reviews over and only share my reactions (“review” feels like too generous a word for what I write). I don’t need to recreate the wheel, when the wheel is easily accessible to others on the internet.

As with all my other annual posts, here’s the deal:

I read all of these in 2023, but very few actually came out in 2023. This isn’t about the best books written this year, this is just what I read during the year.
I include graphic novel volumes but not individual issues.
I include audio books and books I read out loud with my children (chapter books) as “read.” I will fight to the death anyone who says these don’t count as “reading.”
I read 95 books this year. I read a lot of paperbacks and I fly through them – but I’ve also come to understand and accept that I read exceptionally fast. My family even teases me about it. Maybe it is something I perfected in law school? Regardless, when I tell people how many books I read in a year and their eyes widen I feel a certain amount of embarrassment. Like I’m a real weirdo – but I am a real weirdo – and apparently reading is my superpower. Handy it’s also one of my favorite things to do.

In no specific order, here are the most interesting things I read this year. I’ve added a picture of the cover with my reactions immediately following. Finally, at the end are the covers of all 95 books I read this year.

Persephone Station
Definite Cowboy Beebop vibes, but more modern and certainly more queer. While probably classified appropriately as a “space opera,” they really only very briefly go off planet – but that aside – I enjoyed this! I appreciated the character diversity. The bond between the Angel, Lou, Sukyi, and Enid was so damn charming. I would have enjoyed more relationship building with the Emissaries. The final showdown on the station felt… a little too predictable? Easy? That said the several chapters of on-planet fighting were extremely well done. Writing combat effectively is really hard, and she did it well. Also the cover? I mean, give me this book as a comic, please!!

Lore Olympus (Volume One shown here, but there is much more and its so good)
Good lord, the illustrations. THE ILLUSTRATIONS. So lovely, irreverent, playful, and in moments, surprisingly sophisticated. There is a spread in this volume between Psyche and Eros and the way she uses color to show light and create an intimate conversation between two people in bed was just so well done. I love comic art that doesn’t take its self too seriously and it still excellent. The color is a character here. The story line is also adult and complex enough to keep me engaged in yet another greek god retelling. I love these. Smythe is fantastic.

Paris Appartment
This is a fun and dark read. I love a good mystery – it’s definitely one of my favorite genres. All the clues are there, but there were some twists that surprised me! It was well done. Some pretty dark themes here, but they’re added in service to a convincing narrative and plot.

Divergent
I picked this up from the “teen zone” at the library after thinking, “wait? I haven’t read these?” I had not. I consumed it like air – I read the whole thing in a few days. Scratches all the dystopian YA itches. Not shocking they were hugely popular! I then got my son hooked, and we read through all three and consumed our conversations each morning on the drive to school. It was so cool to share with him.

The Birthday of the World
In all my years as a feminist scifi fan I had some how never read any of Le Guin’s work. This short story collection was my first – which is an admittedly odd place to start. It was primarily dictated by what was available at the library. Many of the stories were more about culture than space travel but then that’s always been the draw of really good science fiction. I was startled by how often she has a significant focus on sex and sexual acts, but again, that’s a key part of culture.

The the final story, Paradises Lost, is almost a quarter of the whole book and was my favorite. It’s the most space focused, but really I loved it as a fascinating exploration of generational space travel. The other story that most stuck with me was Solitude. Not so much in its plot, but in her exploration of the idea that our understanding of other cultures is so deeply narrowed by our own personal histories and understanding. That the practices of other species can’t always be made analogous to our own just to make them easier to understand – we may be entirely unable to conceptualize them.

Witch of Tin Mountain
This is one of those books where I’m not sure I even thought it was good – but I thought about it endlessly. We have two timelines, unfolding throughout the book, representing two different women. It becomes obvious pretty quickly that there is a connection, but I won’t spoil that. I think it helped that I was listening to it as an audiobook because the two voice actors helped me keep the two story lines separate, as in many spots they were quite similar. The author was definitely playing with feminism, racism, homophobia, etc, and at times it felt heavy handed. At other moments it seemed like she had rose colored glasses on given the time periods – could there really be a happily ever after for some of these characters in this time period, in those places? Thankfully, the “mystery” was well crafted and made sense, which can be an issue with fantasy material.

I’ll Stop The World
Definitely feels like a young adult novel, but that’s actually part of it’s charm. Yes, there’s lots of teen angst, but the angst guides their decision making and leads the plot forward. The mystery is well crafted, although one of the big reveals I thought was obvious pretty immediately. Overall though, I couldn’t stop listening. I do love audiobooks for novels that are written in a lot of different perspectives because the actors bring so much life to the individual characters and also help keep it clear what character you’re with.

Daisy Jones and the Six
It was a legit struggle to not stay up till 3AM to finish this the first night. This book is written as a oral history of all of the band members and their team. It’s like watching an old VH1 “behind the music” in print. This is to say I loved it. Clearly doesn’t hurt but I’m a big Fleetwood Mac fan, but even if you’ve never listened to anything from the 70s this is charming. Billy and Daisy are equal parts annoying and frustrating and magical and perfect. I found myself so invested in Karen and Graham too, and I appreciate how the author dealt with their story.

Scattered Showers
I’ve said it 100s of times. I am a Rainbow fangirl. What a beautiful collection of love stories that included establish couples from her former novels, as well as fun new people. Can we get an Anna and James’s novel please? And, of course, Beth, Jennifer and Lincoln, and the whole plot of Attachments, continues to be a favorite.

The Girl in The Tower
This series hits the combination of action, fairytale, adventure, history, and tension just right. The second in the trilogy, this was was plot heavy than the Bear and the Nightingale – we were endlessly in action! I’m not sure I fully understand the ramifications of the ending on our Winter King, but look forward to the third installment!

Shrill
Her show by the same name moved me beyond words and the book did not disappoint. Given everything that’s happened culturally since 2016 some of it feels dated but only because the world turned on its head since she wrote this. That said so much of the changes she talks about are still in place. I do think the world is somehow kinder or at least more open..?

This book is full of beautiful, righteous anger. I was so active on Jezebel in the mid-2000s. Lindy’s work was a pivotal part of my young womanhood. She was born just three years before me, and our lives were so far apart, but so similar, as she wrote. I have also spent a lifetime feeling too big too much too … everything. So, while much of the writing style of that time was often aggressive or snarky, it made me stop giving a fuck quite so intensely. I’m grateful for the courage of her words and for her too-muchness. If I’m too much, go find less.

Six of Crows
I wasn’t sold on this book at first, then I stayed up too late finishing this. Six perspectives, in a heist/caper story, is a lot and she crafts it so clearly. This was just fun and a nice return to the Grisha universe from Shadow and Bone (though unrelated plot wise).

Murder in Mesopotamia
If you know me, you know, I read at least a few Agatha Christie novels per year. I have a loose goal of reading every novel she ever wrote. She’s my comfort food. With there being so many (relatively short) novels from her, they’re not all masterpieces. This one was great though! The setting plus the use of the nurse’s perspective was just so charming. It takes you straight back to 1936 – for better or worse!

Covers of everything I read in 2023:

2023 fall and holiday bakes

I promised myself that once I got through the TEDx talk and the law review article submission process, I would spend my weekends basking in lit candles, folk, music, and baking. And that I have.

This was one of the desserts I made for our winter solstice dinner. It’s fudge brownies with mint frosting! I put a drop of green food coloring in the buttercream. I used green store bought piping frosting to draw the lines and used a toothpick to drag across them to create the effect.

Brownie recipe I used: https://cafedelites.com/worlds-best-fudgiest-brownies

My mint buttercream: 1.5 cups unsalted butter (whip), add 4 cups powdered sugar, 3 tbsp half and half, 1/2 tsp vanilla, 1 tsp peppermint extract. Whip for at least 1 minute. Note these are the proportions I use for a double cake, so you need a lot less for the brownies. When I made it, I reused some for the cake I made for Christmas Eve.

My mom and I made lemon drop, reindeer, peanut butter, and maraschino chocolate cookies. For me the stand out was absolutely maraschino! These were so soft and buttery and sweet.

Recipe: https://www.howsweeteats.com/2022/12/maraschino-cherry-chocolate-chip-cookies/

The Great Deku Tree and the Koroks from The Legand of Zelda in gingerbread! Turns out video game scenes are a great way to engage the preteen in holiday baking and was something fun for me too as a fellow gamer. Kids helped and decorated every step along the way!

My gingerbread was from Joy of Cooking. My biggest tip for building with gingerbread is that when you cut it leave it sitting next to each other and the seams won’t round out as much.

Also, for eating, it is so much better on days 2-4! Let them soften. Same with the sugar cookies. They’re so much softer and better after a few days.

This is the other desert I made for winter solstice. I also added dried cherries sticking them in the bottom of my Bundt pan. They added some much-needed sweetness. If I make this cake again, I will definitely also make an orange drizzle frosting. I think it needed some extra sweetness. Very moist though and better day two.

Ginger Clove Solstice Cake: http://www.wellingtonfarm.ca/news/2018/12/23/solstice-cake

Peppermint pattie enchanted forest cake! last year I had this great recipe for a peppermint cake, but I immediately lost it. Sigh. This year I decided to make one of my favorite chocolate cake recipes, and just added a little extract to the batter, and used my mint buttercream. Voila! The trees are colored candy melt on pretzel rods. I’m not the strongest decorator, so it looks a little bit of a mess, but it’s very cute and so delicious.

My forever go to chocolate cake: https://barefootcontessa.com/recipes/beattys-chocolate-cake

We hosted a cookie decorating party for 11 kids, and third and sixth grade. We had so much fun.

May I recommend a blindfold cookie decorating challenge?

I used the rich roll cookie recipe from the Joy of Cooking cook book. The dough was so sticky! Definitely needs to stay super chilled in a recommend rolling it out with plastic wrap. Like the gingerbread, these cookies are so much better two or three days in.

wild geese: 2023 winter solstice

Each year my family makes a Winter Solstice dinner and we eat together in the dark, by only candle light, in addition to other traditions. Each year I select a poem or reading to kick off our dinner. We don’t do much in the way of formal rituals or religion in our home, but this one is sacred. I picked another Mary Oliver piece for my poem this year. Happy yule! 🌲🌀 🌚

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting –
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

Mary Oliver
Wild Geese

washington d.c. travel recs

I have traveled to and worked in Washington DC over 30 times in the past 11 years. When I travel for work, I am the sort to take full advantage of the privilege. I’m a lifelong, unashamed, relentless tourist. DO ALL THE THINGS! I was recently back in DC, and took my son Max with me on his first trip there. Exploring DC with him, and showing him all the “places I go when I’m not at home with you,” was really special. It really made me realize how many “favorite places” I have in that city. I am often asked by my students and friends for DC travel ideas, so I decided to put it here in one easily shareable post.

WHEN I PREFER TO GO

I’ve traveled to DC in every season, but my favorites are spring or fall, which is thankfully when most of my work occurs. It’s a literal (and figurative) swamp in summer and cold in the winter. The other perk of the spring? The cherry blossoms – and if you time it right – the kite festival. The National Mall is a National Park, and runs a “bloom watch.” Of course, this is a busy time in DC, but with good reason. It truly is just lovely – but do take allergy meds. I once did a run along the river from Georgetown to the Capitol and then couldn’t open my eyes for several hours due to my spring time allergies. Anyway, coinciding with the bloom is the Kite Festival. I am in DC for work not leisure, so it was serendipity that I was there over this event. It is one of my most joyful memories from solo travel. I felt as free as the kites.

THINGS I DO IN DC (THAT ARE NOT CONFERENCES, MEETINGS, OR NETWORKING)

Further in this post I will detail my favorite museums, restaurants, and spots, but for now, these are the activities in DC I recommend:

Walk the monuments at sunset and at night. It’s safe and so gorgeous. I love to start all the way at the Supreme Court or Capitol and make my way to the Lincoln Memorial. The lighting adds to the grandeur and it’s a little less busy and hot.
Smithsonian Museums. Free, huge, and fun. Each trip I try to sneak one in, and often strategize and plan ahead for which one. Because they’re free, you can guiltlessly do “drive by” visits and go see just a few rooms or things. I’ll talk more about them individually later, but for the museums on the Mall, it’s so fun to walk between them too. Eat at one the stands on the Mall and sit on the lawns. There is a metro stop that drops you right there.
All the other museums! There are so many museums in DC. Exploring there is one of my favorite things to do. I usually just open google maps and explore around my hotel on each trip. I tend to target art or science spots.
Book shops. One of my travel ticks is finding a local bookstore in every city I travel to. DC is no exception and is plentiful – especially if you get out to the surrounding neighborhoods. A personal favorite is Politics and Prose at the wharf.
The river. I love Georgetown, the wharf, just looking at the Potomac from anywhere in DC. This fall Max and I kayaked and it was so cool. We used Boat in DC and took off from the Keytown Bridge. A great activity for traveling with a pre-teen too.
Pokemon Go. Hear me out. I’m a nerd, my family are nerds, and augmented reality games are just fun. DC has so many thousands of Poke Stops and Gyms, and it’s a fun way to engage with the history and the map.
Shop. Is DC a fashion hub? Absolutely not. But there are so many professionals working overtime to look the part, that there are Nordstrom Racks on like every corner. Half of my work wardrobe was purchased in DC.
Tours. Admittedly, I very rarely go on tours in DC because my tourism is being fit in between work obligations. However, I have gone on a few good ones. Max and I took a great Ghost Tour of the Supreme Court and Capitol this fall. It’s a fun way to get a guided experience and learn some fun facts. I have never done any of the bus/driving tours (well, not true, did one in 7th grade) and frankly those don’t really appeal to me. I just used viator to find it, and have good luck booking through them.
Rooftop bars. Ok, I like these everywhere, but with the monuments and ornate government buildings, DC rooftops are fun. I’ll mention restaurants and bars later, but a personal favorite is the Crimson View in Chinatown.

WHERE I LIKE TO EAT

I like to eat and I like it be either (a) very delicious, or (b) an experience. I’m here for vibes. I’m also here to break bread with friends. Meal planning for bigger parties in a city is a WHOLE THING in terms of splitting checks and managing reservations but worth it every time. I also love to eat alone and explore new restaurants on my own. Bring a book. You got this.

My other tip for us hapless midwesterners – you need reservations. You always need reservations. Maybe you get there and it was unnecessary, but just do it. Here is a list of restaurants I either hit frequently, get a kick out of, take students and colleagues too, or simply just recommend. There are so many missing here too; I’ll add over time.

The Dubliner near the Capitol and Union Station. It’s an Irish pub through and through and definitely panders to that. There is often live music, the food is good, and the atmosphere is fun.
The Old Ebbitt Grill near the White House. It’s a classic but touristy. It just feels so “DC” though; it’s worth it. I’ve ordered trays of oysters drunk at 2AM and had eggs benedict at 7AM. It delivers.
GCDC Grilled Cheese near the White House. This is fast food grilled cheese. Quick, easy, yummy, kitschy.
Farmers Fishers Bakers at the Georgetown Waterfront. Elevated comfort food and the Sunday brunch is unbelievable. Eat outside if you can.
Nick’s Riverside Grill at the Georgetown Waterfront. It’s a hometown, cheaper, American style fare of your youth. Again, eat outside.
Founding Farmers in Foggy Bottom. It’s just delicious and the atmosphere is A+. I dream of this apple mac n’ cheese. Yes. It has apples in it.
City Tap House in Penn Quarter. This one is a chain, but in limited cities. Regardless, it’s delicious and convenient.
Kaliwa at The Wharf. It’s pricey for the quality (it’s really good, but maybe not that good), but the setting, the decor, the vibe. I’m into it. Southeast asian food (but you can get french fries as a side, which still amuses me). Lots of speciality cocktails and mocktails too.
Wok and Roll in Chinatown. Yep, sushi and karaoke. I’ve gone solo and did no karaoke and gotten a karaoke room with friends. The atmosphere is fun and the sushi is pretty good.
The Kura Revolving Sushi Bar in Chinatown. Yes, yes, Kura is a chain, but robot waiters! a sushi train! It’s just fun and relatively cheap.

WHERE I LIKE TO LOOK AT THINGS: MUSEUMS AND TOURIST SPOTS

The Smithsonian Air and Space Museum on the National Mall is one of my favorite places. They have an original Wright Brothers plan, amazing space exhibits, and a three story gift shop. It’s free, and I’ve never had to do the timed entry except for when it reopened after a lengthy closure. All this said, if you live in eastern Nebraska, the collection at the SAC Museum is bigger than here. There is another Air and Space Museum in Chantilly VA, which is a bit of a hike from DC, but gigantic. The collection there has to be 2x the size – plus a space shuttle! I recommend all three.
The Smithsonian Natural History Museum on the National Mall is just eye candy. The animals, the ceilings, all of it. I particularly like walking the hall of human evolution. I’ve never had to do the timed entry.
The National Portrait Gallery, near Chinatown, is relatively quick if you’re just looking for the famous portraits. If you explore each gallery, it’s huge. It’s also open later than the Smithsonian Museum’s on the Mall. I have often saved that one to tour around 5 or 6PM before going to dinner in Chinatown.
There are way more Smithsonian Museums than I’m going to call out specifically here. Of course, of course, check out all the Smithsonian’s! Another few I list as favs: The American Indian Museum is gorgeous with awesome jewelry in the gift shop; I almost always walk through the Hirshhorn; The African American History and Culture Museum is so cool and interesting; and finally, the gardens and green house are beautiful and fun. When it’s cold I love to hit up the green house. All free!
The Spy Museum. I never bothered to pay for this experience until I went with my 11 year old. Interactive mission through museum, crawling through air vents, loads of intel, an opportunity to show off my cyber red teaming knowledge – it was a perfect afternoon. There isn’t much for the real little guys, but great for older kids and grown ups!
The National Archives feel surreal. Standing in the room with the Declaration of Independence is a real trip. I have always just walked right in without timed tickets, but I’ve also always done it first thing in the morning when it opens. No pictures allow here. Free.
Now, this makes me sound insufferable. My work has led to my visiting Pentagon in a professional capacity 5 or 6 times, and my hosts have given me tours, so I’ve never done a public tour, but I believe they’re doing those again! It’s a wild, huge, and confusing complex with a fun photo op in the waiting area only (no pictures otherwise). I got to take Max with me this fall, which was so cool. Tip: never take a cab to the Pentagon. The only drop is at the front which is not where visitor control is. Easiest method is to metro in, which will drop you right where you need to enter.
The NASA HQ lobby, information center, and gift shop (on Hidden Figures Way) is a quick stop if you’re not actually visiting someone’s office, but worth it. The gift shop is small and feels like a mall pop-up, which is to say, they have random stuff that the woman who runs it designed herself. There are also some interesting displays in the lobby.
You can request a tour of the Capitol building from your state delegation, rather than one of the big public tours. They can’t always accommodate it, but being led around by an intern is kind of a kick. I’ve done them with interns of staff from Rep. Bacon and Senator Fischer’s Offices. The video before the tour is too long (and has its rose colored glasses on regarding US history) but its a neat building and tour.
A few other places I’ve visited in the last few years, that were cool, but not calling out specifically: ARTECHOUSE (Art Tech House) DC was cool but small, Library of Congress is beautiful, FBI tour was cool, CIA tour (it’s another one with a drive) was neat and we saw the employee art show which cracks me up, State Department is so serious and intimidating, kayaking the Potomac (mentioned earlier), and the National Geographic museum was well done too.

WHERE I LIKE TO SLEEP

I’m all-in on my Hilton Honors points, but have stayed in a few places in DC that were particularly cool or special.

Phoenix Park Hotel is above The Dubliner that I mentioned earlier in this post. It’s Irish themed as well, and fun. It’s near the Capitol, Union Station, and Georgetown Legal Center.
Just once I got to stay in The Willard Intercontinental Hotel, which is a DC institution, terribly fancy, beautiful, and where I yelled at the lobby staff for refusing to offer me access to a refrigerator for my pumped breast milk (which they did eventually do). It’s pricey and above my pay grade 99.9% of the time, but definitely stop by for a drink on your way to The White House or keep an eye out for discount rates.
Motto by Hilton in Chinatown has a basement bar and a killer rooftop bar. It’s across the street from the Chinatown metro spot, which is sort of a rough street, but safe. I’ve never had an issue there. Between the location, the bars, and the minimalist rooms – I love it.
The Hilton brand hotels I typically book depending on where my work is centered: the Hilton National Mall & The Wharf, the Canopy at Embassy Row, and the Embassy Suites Convention Center. All of these have proven to be the quietest – which is typically my biggest complaint.

GETTING THERE

I am solidly on team DCA (Reagan National) for flying in and out. If you’re there for work or tourism you’re likely staying in the city center, and DCA is quick 15 minute drive. I often call it ‘Reagan’ and am swiftly told by locals it’s ‘National.’ When that is coming from someone who has lived there for many years, it’s funny, when it’s coming from an intern whose been there for the summer, it’s annoying. The other airport option is Dulles. Is Dulles bigger? Yes. Is Dulles occasionally cheaper? Yes. Do I have any desire to commute after getting off the plane? No.

From DCA you can easily take metro in, but the drive is quick enough that I am usually bougie (and getting reimbursed) and just grab a cab.

HOW I GET AROUND

The metro in DC is so easy and inexpensive. Google Maps will tell you what train and when, but you hardly need it to. There is an app you can use to pay, but I find it a little poorly designed. You can still buy the physical cards and load them at the stations. I also use ride shares a lot when getting around quickly. But, BUT, far and away my favorite way to move around DC is walking. It’s such a walkable city with a lot of personality, if you look for it. Not to mention the monument pathways. Whenever I can, I walk.

TEDx Omaha 2023

Doing tedx omaha was a trip.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=_LR2gVhUqhU%3Fsi%3DcHJxe0JuZP5YXNgS

My talk was about using stories to unpack and explore really hard topics – but not just any stories, science fiction stories. Scifi isn’t fantasy, it’s futurism. It is removed enough from our experiences and bias to let us look at challenges objectively. Truly my talk was the story of how I started using Star Trek (and all scifi) as a learning tool.

So grateful to all the people who came and sent me messages of support and love. I appreciate you! My family, who always show up for me. Molly Brummond, Tasha Everman, and Michelle Paxton waiting outside the stage door to celebrate with me. Kat Ousey and Gene staying for the day. Alica Simon and Lindsay Rawlings driving up. My forever bestie, Frances Hayes. Texts and messages from Aakriti, Richard McDermott, Tyler, and Bonita. My coworkers who helped on practice runs. And all the others I missed: thanks for being my community.

Live long and prosper 🖖🏼

unpaid work is real work

Semi-regular reminder that our unpaid work can be just as meaningful as our paid work.

The Brownies from Girl Scouts Spirit of Nebraska Troop #20821 completed their Cabin Camper badge last weekend. Initiating this trip and planning it is probably the thing I’m the most proud of doing this year (and I’ve had kind of a doozy of a year). A particularly special moment was after our bedtime story we did some secular vespers. Every girl got to tell us what they liked about themselves. It was so sacred, hearing them share their about themselves, and hearing when their troop sisters affirmed it, “oh yeah, you are so good at art!” These were precious memories made.

I’m intensely humbled by the support of my co-leaders, Tami and Sierra, who brought their enthusiasm for my wild idea and shared their talents to make it better.

Together our girls shared clean up and set up chores, made adorable SWAPS to share with each other, enjoyed a night hike and a cabin pajama party, and got some epic playground time.

Did I go to work tired that Monday? You betcha. Did we do real, meaningful work that weekend? Absolutely.

Full heart, happier spirit.

No alternative text description for this image