Each year the College of Law provides a one-on-one professional coaching session to our first year students after their first semester. I participate in this program as a coach and have 30 minute sessions with around 10-15 first year law students each January. In addition, due to my roles at the College, students meetings take up a very large portion of my time – I spend most of January in one-on-one meetings with students. Thankfully, I am, at my core, a people person. I’m curious and nosey. This part of the job is a much more natural fit for me than the research, much to my editor’s dismay.
Particularly with the first year students, but true among them all, grades are a major point of discussion. I can only recall two meetings in the recent few years where a student actually told me they were pleased by their grades. Only twice, out of hundreds of meetings, did someone actually (a) experience real pride and joy in their academic performance, and/or (b) own that pride and express it. That is… distressing.
I could soap-box about the use of strict grading curves (I am not a fan), the traditional modes of assessment used in law school (also not a fan), the wide-spread over-valuing of grades for hiring and professional opportunities (still boo’ing from the peanut gallery), and being told that if I give too many A’s I’ll draw suspicion and review upon myself (I mean, come on). Law school is a gate-kept world, relying on hierarchical history that values certain skills disproportionately, which don’t reflect the full array of talents and skills necessary for a meaningful career or practice. So, I won’t go on, but I could.
Regardless, I take these sessions as an opportunity to look at every one of the students I meet in the eye and ensure someone in this building with a fancy title tells them: “you are not defined by these grades.”
Remember, the math has to math. If 20% of the student body is in the top 20%, well, 80% of you aren’t. Being in the 80% is OK. There are more of you. Strength in numbers!
Its a curve and the spread has to happen. Often the point break between a B- or a C+ is a decimal or two. Do not let that decimal keep you up at night. Do not let it prevent you from going after opportunities. Do not allow it to make you feel like you don’t belong here.
I don’t mean to belittle their anxiety, grades DO matter in our current legal market, but they are a singular and to my mind artificial, marker of success.
Of course, some people actually do fail. In this instance, use that to really evaluate your work here. Is this the right fit? There is absolutely nothing wrong or shameful in cutting your loses and trying something else. There is also nothing wrong or shameful in trying again. I’ve done both, and had been glad for it.
When I started my PhD program in political science, long after finishing my JD, I was so excited to return to classrooms as a students. Guys. Guys.. I hated it. The people and the professors were lovely and kind, and the material was interesting, but I was not interested. I thought about what jobs or professional changes it would lead to, and I didn’t want them. So I stopped. I just quit! I had taken the GRE for this, I wrote admissions essays and research agendas, I was several classes in – but I just quit. I’m so glad. I tried it, it clarified some things, and I bailed.
When I failed the Bar Exam right out of law school, I took a beat. I had babies and financial stress, and just LIFE. All caps, LIFE. But I still knew that the law and legal education was the right path for me. So, 2 years later, I tried again and passed. I took in the “bad grade,” which in this case wasn’t just a C-, reflected, learned, and tried again. No shame in that. If anything, I brag often about my resilience (people love a come-back story, use it to your advantage). I blogged about it back then, too, and it’s also a lot about parenting.
I’m a nerd and a big fan of the Buffy the Vampire Slayer television show. There is a great moment where Buffy or Willow or someone says to Cordelia, “don’t you have any shame?” after she’s said something particularly cruel or blunt.
Cordelia responds, “please, like shame is something to be proud of.”
This has become a mantra for me. Shame isn’t a merit badge; take it off.
This is all to say: grades are just one piece of information. It’s important information, sure, but it’s not a complete picture of your experience, intelligence, and skills. That disappointment, embarrassment, or frustration you’re feeling? Roughly 80-90% of your classmates are feeling it too. You are not alone in this experience.
Only you get to define yourself.
Only you gets to decide what this means to you.
Elsbeth Magilton 