Screaming For Quiet.

Ever have a day that was just profoundly bad on multiple fronts? Not personally tragic but just really, truly, ugly-cry in your office rough? Multiple insecurities rear their ugly heads, the world around you is depressing and hard, you can’t help but think that everyone else has their shit together so significantly better than you? That was two Wednesday’s ago for me.

I decided I needed a break from life. Yes, all of life besides my children and husband – I needed to focus on and be with them quite deeply. I took some vacation time (a luxury for which I am grateful) and decided: no email, no work calls, no social media, no training obsession (gasp!), hell, I deleted Pinterest. I needed a little wine, to go on a run because I wanted to not because I was obligated to, I watched some Broad City, I did yoga and half assed it but dug the stretches, I craved whole lot of reading and knitting (although night one I may have done the reverse order and had to re-knit 10 rows thanks to the wine). I needed to REST. Fully and completely rest. I hid from my “public professional online life” for four days. Since, I’m dabbling back in. No more Facebook or my office twitter on my phone. No more phone in my bedroom before/after bed. Just quiet time, alone with myself.

The bad news is this: I’m still super imperfect!

The good news is this: I always have been and I always will be!

I worry about money. I weigh too much. I think about my job 24/7. I yell at my kids sometimes. I’m a horrifically bad speller… the world is hurting and broken and people I love are scared.

I’m not building up to anything other than this: sometimes we’re not alright. It’s ok to not be alright. Bad days, weeks, months happen.

You’re not alone, and thankfully, neither am I.

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